It’s the holidays and that means hosting and being hosted! With all the visiting and hosting going on, there are some unspoken rules of being a guest that seems like everyone knows, but there is always that one person who seems to not be aware that they are committing a severe faux-pax!
When someone invites you to their home, there are some unwritten rules you are supposed to follow. The same applies when you are the host. You expect that your visitors adhere to these rules. Have you been guilty of breaking any of these?
Show Up on Time
When someone invites you to their house, do not come early and do not come late. There is a reason they asked you to visit at a certain time. Do not show up unannounced because your host may be busy or unprepared and showing up late messes up their plans. Show up within 15 minutes after the start time but never earlier than for when you were invited.
Save The Containers For The End
Do not assume that any leftovers are for grabs. Even if they were, wait until everyone has had their fill before taking the leftovers. Always wait for the host to offer leftovers before loading up your to-go containers. Especially, if the host prepared and paid for everything on their own, then the leftovers are for them alone and you should only take them if specifically offered. And even when offered, never fill up before the party is over.
Offer To Help
Offer to help during set up and clean up. If you’re not needed, that’s fine, but at least offer to be of service in some way. Everyone should offer to help (all men and women), not just drink beer and watch football while others do the work.
Do Not Criticize Your Host’s Food
As a guest, please don’t tell whoever is preparing the food that they are doing it all wrong and how much better it would taste if you cooked it. If you don’t like a food being offered, just leave it off of your plate. There’s no need to tell everyone how gross you think it is. As a host, make sure to have a variety of dishes and sides.
Bring More Than Enough
Were you assigned to bring something to the gathering? Always bring more than enough! Plan generously and bring enough for everyone to have more than one serving.
Don’t Bring an Extra Person
It would be rude to bring with you someone else who was not invited. If this person is known to the host, there must be a good reason why they were not invited. Maybe they are not on good terms with the host, and when they tag along, you bring unnecessary pressure between you. If you feel someone was left out of the invitation accidentally, reach out to the host and ask if they can come. Always respect their decisions and don’t pressure them to allow you to bring in extra people.
Treat Their House Better Than You Treat Your Own
Do not leave empty cups, glasses, and cans all over the place after the party is over. It can be disheartening for the host to keep finding dirt and empty used cups and plates all over the house. Take these empty utensils to the kitchen after use, clean them, and store them away.
Treat their house with respect and even if you allow certain behaviors in your own home, respect that the host may not allow them in their house.
Do Not Take More Than Your Share Before Others Eat
Never take more than your “share” of each food until after everyone has had a chance. Do not deprive other people of food in someone else’s home. Let everyone eat first before going for a second helping. Don’t bring extra food to add to the menu without prior permission from your host.
Stick to the Public Rooms
If you are invited to someone’s home then stick to the public rooms. There is no reason for you to be snooping into bedrooms. You can hint at what a lovely home this is or ask for a tour but do not walk into private rooms unless the host allows you to do so.
Don’t Tell the Host How to Discipline Their Pets or Children
How would you feel if guests came to your house and started judging how you discipline your child or pets? No one has perfect parenting skills. As a guest, do not meddle in other people’s affairs unless asked to do so.
Keep Your Children Under Control
Always keep your children under control when you visit someone’s home. Kids can be a handful. They can also be annoying, going up and down, opening and closing doors, touching things, breaking stuff, and engaging in all manners of mischief. Your host may not have the courage to tell them off. You must ensure that they behave appropriately.
Do Not Bring Your Pets
Unless you check in with your hosts, do not bring pets with you when visiting. Pets can be uncontrollable sometimes. If they are comfortable with you coming with pets, make sure you control them at all times. Do not assume everyone wants your pet around, especially during mealtimes. Move your pet to a secure area of the house/yard etc.
Plan for Dietary Restrictions
If you have dietary restrictions, bring some pre-made dishes you can eat but don’t mind sharing with others. Plan for the kitchen to be off-limits, so don’t ask to cook anything from scratch. If you need to heat your own food then ask the host in advance- they may have a plan and “budget” for oven space.
Don’t Make Extra Work for the Host
Don’t make the host have to work extra for you! Put your trash and recycling in the can, rinse your dish and put it in the sink, and don’t leave half-empty cans or drinks lying about. Take care of your container if you bring a dish, and do not forget to say thank you.
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